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Don’t Bottle It All Up

We all know what happens when we take a jar or a bottle or even anything and we keep shoving things down in it, eventually it will all come exploding out. The same thing happens for people, when you keep pushing down anger or sadness or any kind of emotion like that, it’ll come out eventually. It may be something big that causes the eruption of emotions and it may be something quite small. No matter what the cause is, it’s important to not bottle it all up.

Psychologically speaking, bottling up or stuffing down our emotions isn’t healthy. There’s a reason therapy is so beneficial, oftentimes because people just need to speak about their emotions and get them out of their heads and bodies and into the world. Not to mention, communication with your loved ones is super important, and it’s usually them that cause these feelings to erupt at certain times.

There can be a lot of things that we may bottle up. We may hide our sadness at something and keep it hidden and whenever more is added, we just shove it down deep and pretend it’s not there. That’s effective, I suppose, for a little while, but at some point, that sadness is going to come up, and it’s going to cause you to break down crying whether at a broken nail or a commercial or something else. The same goes for anger. If you’re angry at someone about something they did, you can try to bottle it up, but if the behavior continues, you’ll find yourself exploding on them, and you may wind up saying things that you won’t be able to take back.

Luckily, there’s a simple cure to this problem. Don’t bottle it up. When someone says or does something that upsets you, you’re allowed to share that they did so. It’s not a bad thing to let someone know if they’re taking advantage of you or at least if that’s how they’re making you feel. One thing I’d definitely suggest is saying something along the lines of, “this makes me feel this way” because sometimes people don’t realize how their actions or words can make you feel. They may not realize that putting you in a certain situation makes you feel very uncomfortable and then that discomfort turns to anger towards them. Basically, you may take something as an attack or as them being inconsiderate, but if they’re unaware it’s an issue, they won’t be able to stop the behavior.

The only way to get these emotions out and work through them is by talking about them. You don’t have to have a therapist to do this either, call up a friend, grab a cup of coffee and just talk. And have those uncomfortable conversations. It may not be pleasant to bring this up to someone, but it’s necessary for your mental wellbeing.

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Talk It Out

Keep yourself from reaching a mental breakdown point by finding a trusted family member or friend who you can talk to about everything going on. Bottling up your emotions can lead to breakdowns later, it’s easier to talk it out.

Can You Fall In Love Without Ever Touching?

So for those of you who haven’t had your hearts ripped out by the movie Five Feet Apart, first off, how the heck have you not? And second, go see it right now! Right now!

Ok, glad we got through that. Now, without giving up any spoilers, this book raises an interesting question and viewpoint, one that I’ve actually had people ask me, and one that I’ve wondered myself. Is it possible to fall in love without ever touching? Without ever kissing or being able to hold hands or do anything other than just talk? So for me, I think yes, but this is a view that I’ve had people challenge me on. So what do you think?

To me, it seems like a no-brainer. Some people think of love as this thing that needs intimacy, that needs hand holding and kissing, and being near one another, but I’ve never thought that was necessary to love. Now, in this case, we are strictly speaking romantic love, and not platonic love. I mean, think about it, you tell your friends you love them, and you haven’t needed to hold their hands or spend the night with them (at least, I hope not, because if so, buddy, you’re not really in what I’d call a friend area). The same can be said for romantic love. The love that we all hope to find one day, it’s a soul to soul connection. It’s not something that happens because you two held hands and made out at a bar. It’s something that happens because you bonded over reading a certain novel that made both of you think. It happens because of a chance encounter that allowed you to show a stranger your true colors, and they accepted you for what you were. Sure, touch and that intimacy is necessary to build upon a relationship, and as a great way to share how you feel with that special someone. But it’s not necessary for love, and it’s certainly not necessary to fall in love.

While love at first sight may be a bit far fetched, I mean, I’m romantic, but I’m practical too, I do think that there are certain souls that are meant to be. Maybe not forever, or maybe not in that timing, but that doesn’t mean that connection isn’t there. In some cases, it may take a few conversations to uncover it, and while I know so many people think there needs to be that physical connection to help, I disagree. That physical connection should only strengthen what’s already there. To me, there are several forms of intimacy, aside from the physical. There’s the intimacy of speaking to someone at 2 in the morning, when you both are getting groggy after a long day, and you’ve been talking for hours, and sleep isn’t even important anymore, and you are being completely honest with that person and yourself, because you are just too tired to not. Intimacy is long looks across the room, reading that connection into every look. It’s those conversations you have with just your eyes, the ones that no words are needed. It’s those little moments, where you just look over at that special someone, and you just have that wonderful feeling that they’re absolutely perfect. That’s intimacy. And in my opinion, you can have that, without ever touching. You can have that being in different cities, and you can definitely fall in love without even meeting in person.

When you think of falling in love, you might think of some gorgeous guy, or girl, sweeping you off your feet, and you two live happily ever after. And that’s great, that’s what fairy tales are based on. But what about meeting someone who gets you and your little quirks? Who talks about you in their future, even though you are in different cities? What about building that friendship, knowing that someone isn’t perfect, and not caring? What about that perfect moment where you are smiling down at your phone like a total idiot, without even realizing it, because they just make you that happy? Some will argue that you can’t fall in love without that physical touch. But to me, that’s not true. You fall in love with someone’s soul, with their spirit and their personality. Not because you were able to hold hands or you had an awkward first kiss at the end of a date. Sure, those things may be a way to show affection, but true love, you don’t need that. You definitely want it, don’t get me wrong, but to fall in love, to truly fall in love, maybe we need to take away that. Take away the physical proximity. Do you miss that person when they aren’t there or were they just someone hot to spend time with? Are you at a point where you desperately want to see them in person, but are completely content just talking to them for hours? Because to me, that makes all the difference.

Psychology says that the difference in love and lust lies in the time. If you only have feelings for four months, it’s lust. Anything that lasts longer than that is love. They may be right, but society seems to rush into things so much that sometimes I think the two get easily confused, especially when the physical is such a huge aspect. If you’re not sure if you’re in love or lust, maybe try taking a step back, literally, and seeing the person for who they are. Just another person, without the added physical stuff. It may just make all the difference.

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