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Best Ways to Get Over Heartbreak

Heartbreak is one of the best and worst things in life. You may be wondering, how is it one of the best? In most people’s experiences, heartbreak absolutely sucks, and there’s not much good in it. But, that’s just because you’re only looking at one side of it. Think of some of the most powerful songs you know, some of the most heart-wrenching books you’ve read, some of the strongest people you know. They are all products of heartbreak, showing that something beautiful can come from something so painful and awful, that some people never even put their hearts out there to begin with. If you are one who is still putting their heart out there, good for you! It’s tough, and it can be especially tough to figure out how to try again when you’re heartbroken. Luckily, I’ve compiled some of the best ways to get over heartbreak, so you can get back out there, and turn your pain into something beautiful.

Since it’s not likely we are all master songwriters, though I really wish I was, you may have to use a different method to get over your heartbreak. So here’s some of my favorites, tried and true, ways to get over heartbreak.

  • Write a letter. Write a letter to your ex, and let everything out. If you dumped him, but are feeling upset about it, if he dumped you, let out all the feelings, let out the anger, the sadness, hold nothing back. And then, throw that letter away. Don’t mail it, don’t send it to your friends, don’t do anything like that. Just get the feelings out, and then throw it away. Yeah, it can be tempting to mail it to him and try to create some perfect ending where he realized he was wrong, but just don’t. Your life isn’t a rom-com, even though we all wish ours was some times.
  • Eat some cookie dough and cry. I know, I know, the raw egg, trust me, when heartbreak has got you down, it’s worth the risk. There is nothing like pulling a tub of cookie dough close, and crying your eyes out. Just know the pain won’t go on forever, and don’t lean on the cookie dough too much. A bit of it is nice, but too much can be dangerous.
  • Write a poem. If you are gifted, write a poem. I used to do this in high school, and somewhere in my little notebook that holds them, I’d put the initials of the guy who it was about. Now, some I have no need to look for the initials, I still remember, but others, it’s quite entertaining to look at and have a rush of memories come flooding back. But this, like writing a letter, can be so cathartic in getting those feelings out, and helping you to come to terms and find that closure.
  • Go out dancing. Hurting and/or angry with a guy? Go out dancing! Line dancing is my go-to for pretty much everything, and it helps with heartbreak too. You know what helps even more? Accidentally running into a cute guy on the dance floor that you then wind up spending the rest of the night chatting with. That’s a good confidence booster 🙂
  • Movie night. Gather up your friends, but don’t put in some romantic movie that’ll make you cry. No, go for a comedy, something that will lighten up your mood, and get you laughing. Nothing helps a bad mood like a good dose of laughter.
  • Plan a getaway. The best way to get over someone is to get away from them. So plan a trip, take a vacation, and just get away from everything. Yeah, they may still be in your life when you get back, but hey, you got a great vacation out of it.
  • Go for a run. This is another one of my favorite go-to’s. Running, or even just walking outside, allows me to clear my head. So when I got dumped via text in college, I went for a run. When I was getting mixed signals from a guy I liked, I hit the nature trails. It’ll help clear your head, and give you those endorphins. Because, as we know, exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy… 🙂
  • Feel the pain. This one is huge, even if you take on another way to do it, this is necessary. Let yourself feel the pain, recognize those feelings, and accept that they were real. Even if he didn’t feel the same, or things ended badly, let yourself remember the good stuff and feel the pain. It sounds counterintuitive, but I promise, it’s necessary to fully healing. The best part is, you’ll wake up one day, and the pain will be gone.
  • Forgive. Don’t do it for him. Heck no, he’s not worth it. But you are. So forgive him for you and for your health. Recognize that even without an apology, if you want to move on with your life, you need to forgive him.
  • Recognize how much better you are without him. Maybe you’re still hoping that in 5 years, fate or destiny will bring the two of you back together, hello rom com, and that’s fine, but during this period, allow yourself to grow. I’m a firm believer that God puts people in our lives and takes them away when either we need to grow from them or they’ve fulfilled their purpose in our lives. So, recognize that while he may have seemed like the greatest thing, he wasn’t. At least, not for where you are going. Maybe he is great, and maybe he is one of the nicest guys, that’s good to recognize. But that doesn’t mean he was right for you. It means he was right at that moment, and now that moment has passed. Recognize that you have not decreased in value, that you still deserve something great. Again, maybe he is great, but not the great that you deserve.

Unfortunately, there is no timetable on how long the heartbreak will last. But you know what, take this time and focus on yourself, focus on your friends, your family, on God. Focus on what’s important, and distract yourself from it. Don’t spend the time wallowing, get out there and have a new adventure, try a new restaurant, and find a new layer to yourself. It’s better time spent than stalking his FB page.

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Rosé with Rachel: Valentine’s Date Ideas

If you’re struggling for a unique idea other than dinner, here are some fun Valentine’s date ideas.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

This is a tough one for many people, myself included, which is why I decided to tackle it myself. One of my goals for 2019 was to get out of my comfort zone more. Like many, I rather like my comfort zone, but I’m reaching a point where I just need some changes in my life, and the best way to do that is by trying something new. So I’ve decided to do several challenges, per say, to help get myself out of my comfort zone, and I challenge you to do the same thing.

The other night, my friend and I went out to this bar together, and this is no ordinary bar, it also features two dance floors, and they play country music, and it’s a lot of fun to head out and line dance. Now, for some, line dancing would be escaping their comfort zone, but for me, that’s just a fun way to spend a Friday or Saturday night, so that wasn’t the challenge to myself. The challenge to myself was to approach a guy I thought was cute, and try talking to him. I’ve spoken to guys there before, but usually they approach me, or in the case of one guy, we literally collided on the dance floor (he says it was his fault, pretty sure it was mine, either way, it was a nice little conversation and makes for a great story later).  So I decided that I would talk to this guy. I mean, after all, how hard is saying hi to someone you think is cute? It shouldn’t be that difficult, and so I gave it a shot. It took me a bit to work up the nerve to do that, but I did, and while it didn’t really last a long time, I still felt very proud of myself, and I plan on doing it again.

Same thing with other little things that I have on my to-do list that are going to push me outside of my comfort zone. For example, I’ve eaten dinner by myself plenty of times, but I’ve never sat down at a restaurant by myself. Not even at a fast food place, I always get it to go and eat it outside at a table or at my office. So that’s something I am going to challenge myself to do, to go sit at a restaurant by myself, and eat a meal, all on my own. It’ll be quite the push outside of my comfort zone, and I’m excited, but nervous to do it. Same with seeing a movie. I want to challenge myself to go see a movie by myself as well. To some, this isn’t a big deal, but to me, it’s something I’ve never done before.

So with that said, I challenge you to find something that’s a bit outside of your comfort zone, and go do it. It can be seeing a movie by yourself, it can be going to a theme park alone, it can be whatever is outside of your comfort zone. Even if it doesn’t go as well as planned, you can be proud of yourself and pleased with the fact that you followed through on what you said you’d do. So go out there, and break out of that comfort zone.

Rosé with Rachel: Self-Worth

Self-worth doesn’t come from anything but you, so don’t let outside influences make a difference in how you feel.

Just Started Dating Around the Holidays

You know what can really complicate the holidays? No, it’s not your Aunt Susan after one too many glasses of wine who starts complaining about anything and everything. It’s starting a relationship right before the holidays, and trying to figure out how to navigate this tricky time.

For most people who are in committed relationships and have been for some time, it’s pretty easy to figure out how the holidays go. You either alternate years or you alternate days that you see each other’s family. This way, no one gets left out, and you both fulfill your obligations to see one another. But what if, you just started seeing someone in October? Or November? It’s much too soon to meet the parents or start alternating who gets Christmas or Christmas Eve, so that makes things a little more complicated.

This can be a bit of a tricky situation, because obviously you two want to spend time together, but you may not want to subject them to the kind of crazy that is your family -just remember, we all have crazy family members, not much we can do about it 🙂 However, there is a very simple, and easy remedy to this situation.

Depending on your family, you may only see everyone on Christmas, which leaves Christmas Eve for a romantic stroll through the park or going ice skating or even wandering around looking at Christmas lights, whatever suits you two as a couple. This way, you still get to spend time with your significant other, but you don’t have to worry about the meet the parents. If you have a family that generally takes both days to celebrate, that’s me, then it can be a little harder to figure out. Generally, I have the morning to myself on Christmas Eve, but if you’re doing last minute Christmas present wrapping or shopping, then those hours are blocked off. That’s where the day before or the day after Christmas come in. Since most people get that day off, or are taking vacation for it, you can easily squeeze in some time with your SO.

Just try to remember not to put so much pressure on yourself for this. Yes, it’s Christmas, but if you’re in a new relationship, make sure to take things slow, and take your time. There’s no need to rush things, and you can always start new Christmas traditions next year.

Saying How You Feel Doesn’t Always Mean a Happy Ending

We’ve all been given advice when it comes to that special someone to just tell him/her how you feel. Because they deserve to know, and you never know what will happen if you do. In some cases, it’s great advice, because friendships don’t get lost, they just evolve into a relationship because it turns out they both were feeling that same way. In other cases though, it’s not the happy ending we are hoping for. In some cases, it’s a feeling of unrequited love, and the friendship can’t survive that.

It’s tough, putting yourself out there, and yes, I am speaking from experience, and no, it didn’t always work out the way I planned it. That’s the key though, I had this big plan of how it was going to work out, and God had another plan. That’s ok, I still put myself out there, and opened the door to the opportunity. It may not have worked out to a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. It just means, it didn’t work out at that moment. What I’ve found though, is that while saying how you feel doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending, it does guarantee you an answer.

When I like someone, I hate the guessing game of trying to decipher if he’s interested in me by how fast he responds to texts, if he texts first, if he uses emojis, etc. I mean, really, the list of things to overanalyze goes on and on. However, if you put yourself out there, you’ll at least know. Yeah, it’s gonna hurt when that guy you’ve been crushing on for months, maybe even years, has no interest in anything more than friendship, but hey, at least you know and you aren’t wasting any more time on him. However, if he was just not sure how to ask you out, you’ve made things way easier on him. Now, all the feelings are out there, and everyone knows what’s going on.

To me, there are too many games when it comes to dating, and I’m just not a fan. I prefer to know where I stand with people, and while saying what you feel doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending, it does at least guarantee some light being shed on what’s going on with you and him. Just keep in mind, no matter how well you’ve planned that conversation, and how confident you are the feelings are mutual, it doesn’t always work out the way you planned. That doesn’t mean it was a bad thing to share, it just means there’s someone else out there for you.

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