A Reflection on 2019

2019 was a year that went by too fast and also too slow. Nothing too monumental happened, yet I feel it was a year of growth for myself. I learned a lot about myself and I got pushed to certain limits that helped me to look at myself and what I want out of life and out of people in my life.

My Friends

2019 was a year where I lost some friends and gained some new ones. Some old friends disappeared from my life, partly because I stopped reaching out, and rather than mourn that loss, I’ve accepted that they don’t want to be in my life anymore and that’s ok. It’s important to learn that you can’t constantly reach out to people to nurture a friendship. There has to be some effort back from that other person, and if there’s not, it may be best to just let it go.

I also was able to reconnect with some friends who moved back to Florida, as well as make new ones by going outside of my comfort zone and trying new things. Trust me when I say making the time to meet new people is worth it, and that even if you and someone have grown apart, that doesn’t mean you won’t grow back together in the future.

Health and Wellness

This year saw improvements in health and wellness for myself and for others I care about. It didn’t come without work, but I’m extremely proud of the work put in by myself and by others, and I look forward to continuing to see improvements in 2020. I’ve got my health goals laid out, and have several others who have their own health goals they are working towards. Having this group makes it much easier to accomplish said goals rather than trying to go in alone. Find your group, and join a fitness class, gym, or social group that will get you up and active. Take care of your body and mind, nourishing both, and know when to sit back and get some rest.


I can’t say that I fell in love in 2019, but maybe that’s something that will happen in 2020. I learned a bit more what I want from a relationship, while also getting ghosted, and while that may not have been fun, it was a good learning experience. It showed me who that person really was and helped remove someone who wouldn’t have been good for me out of my life.

Personal Goals

I continued working on a novel I’m writing and took the next step towards getting it published by sending it to some beta readers. My editing is by no means completed, but I look forward to continuing work on it and hopefully sending it out for querying in the near future. I also look forward to growing this blog. I love writing these posts and interacting with some of my readers, and I hope you enjoy the content as much as I enjoy writing it.

I always look forward to a new year as a fresh start, and this year is no different. I am so excited to see what 2020 has in store for me, and to thank 2019 for the lessons I was given. Happy New Year everyone!


Deep Clean Your Shower Head

Deep clean your showerhead by taking a zip lock baggie and filling it with warm water and vinegar, then putting your showerhead in it, and holding it secure with a rubber band. Leave for a couple of hours, then remove, and run your shower for a couple of minutes. You’ll have a new shower head in no time.

Divide and Conquer

If you have chores and/or errands to run, divide and conquer. This is a great method if you live with family, roommates, or your significant other. Once you complete the chores, you get more time for fun!

Just Started Dating Around the Holidays

You know what can really complicate the holidays? No, it’s not your Aunt Susan after one too many glasses of wine who starts complaining about anything and everything. It’s starting a relationship right before the holidays, and trying to figure out how to navigate this tricky time.

For most people who are in committed relationships and have been for some time, it’s pretty easy to figure out how the holidays go. You either alternate years or you alternate days that you see each other’s family. This way, no one gets left out, and you both fulfill your obligations to see one another. But what if, you just started seeing someone in October? Or November? It’s much too soon to meet the parents or start alternating who gets Christmas or Christmas Eve, so that makes things a little more complicated.

This can be a bit of a tricky situation, because obviously you two want to spend time together, but you may not want to subject them to the kind of crazy that is your family -just remember, we all have crazy family members, not much we can do about it 🙂 However, there is a very simple, and easy remedy to this situation.

Depending on your family, you may only see everyone on Christmas, which leaves Christmas Eve for a romantic stroll through the park or going ice skating or even wandering around looking at Christmas lights, whatever suits you two as a couple. This way, you still get to spend time with your significant other, but you don’t have to worry about the meet the parents. If you have a family that generally takes both days to celebrate, that’s me, then it can be a little harder to figure out. Generally, I have the morning to myself on Christmas Eve, but if you’re doing last minute Christmas present wrapping or shopping, then those hours are blocked off. That’s where the day before or the day after Christmas come in. Since most people get that day off, or are taking vacation for it, you can easily squeeze in some time with your SO.

Just try to remember not to put so much pressure on yourself for this. Yes, it’s Christmas, but if you’re in a new relationship, make sure to take things slow, and take your time. There’s no need to rush things, and you can always start new Christmas traditions next year.

Saying How You Feel Doesn’t Always Mean a Happy Ending

We’ve all been given advice when it comes to that special someone to just tell him/her how you feel. Because they deserve to know, and you never know what will happen if you do. In some cases, it’s great advice, because friendships don’t get lost, they just evolve into a relationship because it turns out they both were feeling that same way. In other cases though, it’s not the happy ending we are hoping for. In some cases, it’s a feeling of unrequited love, and the friendship can’t survive that.

It’s tough, putting yourself out there, and yes, I am speaking from experience, and no, it didn’t always work out the way I planned it. That’s the key though, I had this big plan of how it was going to work out, and God had another plan. That’s ok, I still put myself out there, and opened the door to the opportunity. It may not have worked out to a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. It just means, it didn’t work out at that moment. What I’ve found though, is that while saying how you feel doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending, it does guarantee you an answer.

When I like someone, I hate the guessing game of trying to decipher if he’s interested in me by how fast he responds to texts, if he texts first, if he uses emojis, etc. I mean, really, the list of things to overanalyze goes on and on. However, if you put yourself out there, you’ll at least know. Yeah, it’s gonna hurt when that guy you’ve been crushing on for months, maybe even years, has no interest in anything more than friendship, but hey, at least you know and you aren’t wasting any more time on him. However, if he was just not sure how to ask you out, you’ve made things way easier on him. Now, all the feelings are out there, and everyone knows what’s going on.

To me, there are too many games when it comes to dating, and I’m just not a fan. I prefer to know where I stand with people, and while saying what you feel doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending, it does at least guarantee some light being shed on what’s going on with you and him. Just keep in mind, no matter how well you’ve planned that conversation, and how confident you are the feelings are mutual, it doesn’t always work out the way you planned. That doesn’t mean it was a bad thing to share, it just means there’s someone else out there for you.

Take It Slow

Relationships are weird. I mean, think about it. You meet someone who was, at some point, a total stranger and you just decide “hmm I think I want to spend more and more time with that person.” Then, as you do spend more time together and talk more, you realize you have a lot in common, you seem to have this “connection,” not that anyone can ever say what that really is, and you decide to date. Or he/she isn’t interested, so you get your heart stomped on. It just depends on the situation. If you’re lucky, they feel the same way about you. But it’s hard to say, some relationships take weeks and months (even years in some cases!) to develop, while others seem to happen overnight. It makes figuring out timing very difficult.

I can only speak from my personal experience and what I’ve seen with friends, so this is by no means all encompassing, but it’s my opinion. Relationships tend to be better, and last longer, if you take things slow. If you go too fast, they tend to burn out. It’s the concept of starting out as friends. I mean, if you can stand to be friends with someone for a while, they haven’t done anything to drive you off. So there’s something about them that you like. Whereas, if you jump into a relationship first, it can be more difficult to have that friendship, especially if you find some things you don’t like about them, but you’re already dating, so you feel like you should invest more time in something that maybe you shouldn’t be in.

Now, I’ve said before that if you like someone, you shouldn’t play those silly games, and I do stand by that. However, I also don’t think you should rush into something. Sure, part of dating is getting to know someone, I get that, and I think it makes sense. Sometimes you can just tell on a first date if it’s going to work out or not, and if you’re more interested in dating than a relationship, this is a great way to do things. If you’re looking for something a little more, then I suggest taking things a lot slower, and spending more time together first as friends. And sometimes it’s hard to wait, if you’ve liked someone for a while, but you’re still having a hard time reading the situation, it can be difficult, because you want to share your feelings, but no one likes being rejected. Sometimes though, it’s best to let nature take its course, and take things slowly to see what develops from it. If you’re friends, then you at least have the chance to keep your friendship intact. If you rush into things, you may not even have that. And if you really like the person, then you don’t want to lose the friendship.

Sometimes we are forced to take things slow because the timing isn’t right. Maybe you were friends years ago, and you liked this person then, but things change, someone moves or is in another relationship. So you put the feelings on the back burner, and then something changes. They somehow come back into your life again, but maybe the timing still isn’t right. Rather than trying to rush something that may not work due to geographical location or life circumstances, just keep the friendship going. Don’t push for more if you or the other person aren’t really ready for something like that. Instead, be content being friends and learning more about the other person. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. One thing I’ve learned is that if God wants it to happen, it’s going to happen. It may not be on your time calendar, but it’s on His, and He ultimately knows what is best.

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