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Opening Your Heart Again

Breakups suck. Sometimes they suck when you weren’t even dating someone, but that almost relationship still hurts. But even harder than just surviving the breakup, is opening your heart again after the fact. I mean, we all know that heartbreak is a fact of life, but sometimes it can be hard to let someone in, especially after we’ve had a particularly hard breakup.

I personally think that’s part of the problem with modern dating. Everyone’s so big on keeping things casual so they don’t get hurt, but the reality is, you can still get hurt. Whether you’ve fallen for your best friend and it’s not reciprocated, or you just broke up with someone that you’d been dating for 3 years, it can be hard to start all over again. As humans, we aren’t that great at dealing with change. In fact, I’d say most of us will say we’re good with change, but only the change we want. Otherwise, we resist the change, and want nothing to do with it. But the fact of the matter is, whether you let someone in or not, at least consciously, you can still get hurt. They can still leave you or cheat on you or ghost you. As much as you’d like to control how other people feel, it’s not something that’s in your power, and that means that they have the ability to hurt you. Which makes it hard to open yourself up to someone new, and makes it hard to jump back on the horse, so to speak, and back into the dating pool.

Even if you’ve been single for a while, it can be hard to open yourself up to someone. You’ve adjusted to your life the way it is, you have your friends, your job, your habits, and bringing someone else into that means adjusting. It may mean that instead of Saturday snuggling with your dog, you have date night. It may mean that you have to go out on nights that you’d rather be doing something else to go support someone else or meet his friends. That’s a lot, especially if you’ve fallen into a routine that you’re comfortable with. We all love our comfort zones, but sometimes it’s important to leave it. Sometimes, you have to leave it if you really want to let someone in, and that can be scary, and it can be difficult.

As scary as it is to open your heart again, sometimes it’s just necessary. So next time you meet a cute guy at a bar, swallow your fear, and go say hi. I’m telling you from personal experience, sometimes it can work out in your favor. And yeah, it’s scary to try something new, but you’ll miss every shot you never take. So take a shot, give it a try, and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, then just tell yourself it wasn’t meant to be. But getting out there, will help you get over the fear of letting people in. Reality is, you’re always going to get hurt if you love someone, but a life without love isn’t worth living.

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Fall 2017 Fab Fit Fun Box

Fall 2017 Fab Fit Fun Box

There are very few things I subscribe to. Netflix, FabFitFun, and a few other things are pretty much all I subscribe to. Normally, I wouldn’t have even gotten into the subscription boxes, because they normally are just sample sizes or things I don’t ever use, so I never saw the purpose. I have been getting the Fab Fit Fun box for over a year now, and not only are the products full-size, but they are also things I actually use! For $50 a box, that makes it definitely worth it for me.

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So I decided to give you guys a breakdown of what came in this Fab Fit Fun box.

  1. An adorable gym bag. Mine says “Gym & Juice” and while the other choice is cute, “Will Work Out for Cupcake” I’m pretty happy with mine.
  2. Mohr Charcoal teeth whitener kit. I am super excited to try this, as I’ve been a little bit afraid to try one from the store due to all the chemicals in it. This one is all-natural, so I feel much better about giving it a try. And since I love holiday coffee drinks, I could definitely use a brighter smile.
  3. Trestique lip crayon. It’s a gorgeous pink matte color that is perfect for fall. And you can never go wrong with a dark pink.
  4. Heart shaped jewelry holder. It’s rose gold, keeping it super trendy, and it’s just adorable.
  5. Deco cuticle oil. After my minor hand surgery, my cuticles are a mess. So I am all for something to help them out, especially as weather is supposed to turn colder. Florida girl, remember?
  6. Whish renewing mud mask. I’ve actually never tried a mud mask. Face masks, yes, never mud. So I’m interested to see how many years younger I look after it 🙂
  7. Hot and cold gel pack. Sprain your ankle? Pop this in the freezer, and you’ll be better in no time. Have a horrible backache? Put it in the microwave and relax.
  8. Black B-Low the Belt. It’s super soft, and can be cut to size.
  9. Mer-Sea wrap. It’s super soft, and is large enough to wrap around yourself on chilly plane flights or layer for those snow days I don’t get.

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Excuse the workout attire, I had already fit in my “fit” portion of they day before I opened the box.

As I said before, all of these items are great, but they’re full size! I cannot rave about these boxes enough, I even convinced my co-worker to order one. She is anxiously awaiting her box, so I said I’d share some spoilers here. Definitely look into it, I’ve gotten so many adorable/useful things from this box. Some I love, some are ok, but the point is, I get to really try them out and see if they work for me.

 

The Importance of Being On Time

For anyone that knows me, y’all know I can’t stand to be late. I like to be on time, and it drives me crazy if I’m late to anything. To me, early is on time, on time is late, and late is just completely unacceptable.

Besides me just being a total control freak, I do have reasons for thinking that being on time is super important. I think it ties into what it is you are attending. So for example, being late to work. Yeah, we’ve all done it now and then, but there’s usually a good reason. However, there’s some people who are constantly late to work. I mean, not just like 5 minutes here and there, but like 20-30 minutes late, every single day. That would drive me insane! If you’re leaving 20 minutes late, get up 20 minutes earlier. But especially to your job. They are paying you to show up on time, do good work, and get stuff done. Because of that, you need to be respectful of other people’s time too. So being late to work, that’s a serious no, especially if you have team members who may be counting on you for stuff.

If you’re meeting up with a friend, and you’re running late due to traffic, that’s completely understandable. But if you’re running late because you were busy with other things, you’re sending a message to your friend. You’re saying, “sorry but I was too busy with x, y, and z to make you a priority.” Because yes, when you make a commitment to spend time with someone, you should show up on time and make them a priority at that moment. Now again, medical issues, other things that are completely understandable in taking higher priority, that is completely excusable. But as an example: I used to date this guy who was always late to our dates. And I don’t mean 15 minutes late, I mean he would say he would pick me up at 7, and by 8:30 I would finally get a text that he ran late at the gym. Well, alrighty then, your priorities were made clear to me. The gym was above me. And the saddest part was that I put up with that for longer than I should. It got to the point though, that if he told me a time, I didn’t even start to get ready until then. Because I knew at some point, I would be getting a text that he was running late.

An interview. Obviously, running late to an interview is a serious faux pas. You’re trying to impress these people! You know what isn’t impressive, running late when they’ve carved out time from their busy workday to meet with you, to tell you about the company, and see if you’re a good fit. Running late says that you don’t value their time, and that’s something you never want to tell your potential (or current) employer.

Bottom line: we all are late to things every now and then. Sometimes it’s something we can’t control. My cat randomly puking all around the house, yeah not something I could control, but definitely made me late to meet a friend. Me shutting off my alarm knowing that I have a tennis date in an hour? Yeah, that’s on me when I show up 30 minutes late. So be mindful of that. There’s plenty in our lives we can’t control, but when you get a chance to take over and be in the driver’s seat, take advantage of it. You wouldn’t believe what a good impression being on time can make.

Treat Yourself the Way You’d Treat Others

We all have an inner monologue. Maybe it’s something along the lines of “phew, can’t believe I was first in line at Starbucks” or maybe something a little more mean, “I can’t believe I just said that, what was I thinking.” Some of these inner thoughts are things that we would say out loud and have no worries. In fact, we’d even say it to other people. Other times, what we say to ourselves, is something that we never in a million years would tell someone else. So what makes it ok to say it to yourself?

I’m big on treating yourself the way you’d treat others. Very similar to, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Yet, it’s something we all struggle with. You wouldn’t tell your coworker that their email had a meaningless typo, yet why do you internally nag yourself over it for the rest of the day? You wouldn’t tell your best friend that she’s having a bad hair day, so why do you tell yourself that and lower your own self-esteem? The way you treat yourself is so much more important than some people seem to realize. We all internalize things that we dislike about ourselves, but it’s when we are constantly making snarky comments or thoughts that it becomes a problem.

It’s something we see in society a lot. Someone says “oh my gosh, I’m so fat after that meal.” Yeah, maybe they’re saying it in a joking voice, but in their mind, they could really believe that. They could really be hurting their own self with these negative thoughts and beliefs. And that’s not something you’d say to anyone else. You wouldn’t make that comment period. Yet, we hear it and see it everyday. The problem is, you can’t know for sure how the person saying it really feels. Yeah, maybe they know it’s not an issue and are just joking. But on the flip side, maybe they’ve always been insecure about their weight, and truly think it’s an issue. That’s a dangerous line to walk, and it’s completely unnecessary.

We focus so much on building others up, on being there for someone else, having that positive pep talk to help them out when they’re down. Try giving yourself a pep talk. In the mirror each morning, find some stuff you like about yourself, and focus on that. Don’t focus on the negative, but instead find the positive. Think about how great of a public speaker you are, or tell yourself how you are going to ace that presentation today.

Words can hurt, even when they’re joking and even when directed to yourself. There’s so much negativity directed towards us from others, there’s no need to add to that ourselves. Instead, take a positive approach, and treat yourself how you’d treat others. Kindness is so important, you never know what someone is going through, and what comments can make or break someone’s day.

7 Ways a Long Distance Best Friend is Better

I don’t know about y’all, but sometimes I really hate that my bestie lives in a different state. We went from being sorority sisters and seeing each other every day to having to vacation just to hang out in person. It was definitely a tough transition, but as I try to do, I’ve searched for the light in the darkness. So, I’ve found 7 ways a long distance best friend is better.

  1. Seeing each other is a vacation…literally. She and I have been alternating who sees who each year, starting with her coming back to Jax for my college graduation. Since then, I’ve gone up to see her college campus a few times and have an extended weekend, and she’s come down here for a few days. Is it hard to cram everything into a couple of days? Sure, but since we make a vacation out of it, it just makes it that much more fun.
  2. I do actually talk on the phone now. Besides with my parents. And I must say, it’s rather nice to have someone to call when life gets rough. Especially when you both can complain about being single and gripe about the guys in your different areas. Plus, Facetime wine nights are always a fun time.
  3. I get more mail. Especially around birthdays and holidays. Since we can’t see each other in person, we send our cards and gifts through snail mail. And I must say, it’s always a nice surprise to see a package from my bestie.
  4. I get to meet new people through her. From visiting her in college to Facetiming with her and her new roomies, I get to meet new people who I’d never have a chance to otherwise.
  5. All the social media shares. Having a long distance best friend means that every post, every picture, it gets a like, and we are constantly sharing articles about being best friends or each other’s “person.” That can make a bad day seem better.
  6. It’s a true test of friendship. You know a friendship is real when you’ve been friends longer long distance than you were living in the same apartment complex. Sadly, she moved away after I had known her for only about a year, but that hasn’t affected our bond at all.
  7. Every time we do see each other, it’s more heartfelt. I don’t get to see my bestie but once a year, sometimes less than that, so when we do finally get to see each other, not a moment is wasted. We are going out, catching up, and jumping right back into the friendship.

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Now, do I wish I had my bestie here when I have a broken heart and need someone to cry and eat cookie dough and watch Nicholas Sparks movies with? Completely. But, since I can’t, it’s important to find the positives. We always focus on what we’re missing, but it’s so important to focus on what we have. I have a best friend who has listened to me cry for about 45 minutes, rolled off my couch from one too many glasses of wine, and has had epic adventures in Georgia with me. Is our friendship perfect? Not a chance. But we make this whole long distance friendship work, and we find the positives in our lives.

How to Wear Boots in the Summer…Yes, It’s Possible

During summer, it can be so tempting to wear our flirty sundresses, and our cute sandals. However, when you work in an office where you sit under a vent all day, you may want to wear a little more than just that. I’ve come to that realization, so I had to find a creative way to wear cute outfits without melting, but also without freezing during that 9-5.

I put together a few different outfits and included some pics of me in my little booties. Not pure summer attire, but at least it keeps me warm in the office, and I don’t totally melt into a puddle when I step out into the Florida heat.

  • Wear your booties with sundresses. This is one of my favorite ways to wear them, it’s cute, it’s comfortable, and it allows me to wear some cute dresses, without being overpowered by the boots.

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  • Wear them with rolled up jeans. On Fridays, I try to go a bit more casual at the office, so I paired one of my favorite summer shirts with a pair of cuffed jeans, and some adorable little boots. I was able to eat outside at a restaurant without melting, while also staying not freezing at the office. It truly is the little things in life.

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These are just a few of the ways you can easily wear boots in the summer without melting. What are some of your favorite looks? I kept mine to workplace professional, but I know lots of cute styles that wear boots all year long with shorts, skirts, etc.

Maybe, Someday

As humans, we crave an ending. You may not realize it, but even something simple as a song, leave you wanting an ending. You know how you can get part of a song stuck in your head? Well, turns out if you finish the song in your head, you’ll get it out of your head. Your brain is repeating it because it wants closure or the end of the song. So, you’re welcome for that fun little life tip. Unfortunately, other types of closure aren’t as easy to get.

I’m big on happy endings, but I’m also big on solving mysteries. I can’t stand not knowing things, whether it’s not knowing something as simple as how to change a tire (which I’ve done successfully thank you very much) or if it’s not knowing how someone feels about me. I crave this knowledge, but I especially crave it when I’m in a relationship or almost relationship. I want to know if you want to move forward in it with me or not. What drives me insane is not getting that closure. So I like you, you like me, and when we discuss it, you tell me “maybe someday.” Great, so you’re telling me not now, because the timing isn’t right, but you’re also not telling me when it’ll happen, because someday is pretty open-ended. So I’m not in a relationship, but you’ve dangled just enough hope to keep me from wanting to act single. I didn’t get closure on what we were. I didn’t get closure as far as a definitive answer. I mean, when you use timing as an excuse, what does that even mean? Is the timing right in a month or when you get a new job or what? It sucks too, if you’re a loyal person, because you’ll wait for a while, until you hit your breaking point, when you want more out of life than “maybe someday.” You want that closure of are we or aren’t we.

And yeah, sometimes life isn’t that simple, and I get that, I understand I won’t always get the closure I want, but it would be nice if I did. It would be nice if we all did. Because what’s hardest for me is knowing when to give up on that “maybe, someday.” I’ve hit that point with others before, where I can’t keep my life on hold or keep waiting, because no matter how much I want to, I have to keep life going. Having closure at the time would have helped, but I guess I could have figured it out earlier if I had noticed that I put more effort into it than he did. Either way, it would have been easier if I hadn’t believed that whole “maybe, someday” line. So here’s my advice, don’t settle for anything less than a commitment.

Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma Awareness

Hey everyone! Today’s post is a little bit different than normal. I wanted to talk a little bit about Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, as well as some great organizations that are working towards a cure for it. Today starts the awareness month for Lymphoma. Anyone who knows of someone who has been affected by this disease, or any of them, knows just how devastating cancer can be. It devastates you physically, emotionally, and financially.

I want to give a shout out to some organizations who are helping those who have been diagnosed or are currently fighting. Here’s a list of some wonderful organizations who need your help in the fight against cancer.

  • http://www.lymphoma.org/site/pp.asp?c=bkLTKaOQLmK8E&b=6296735 this is a great site that gives helpful information as well as some great links for those who need more information or need to reach out for some help.
  • http://www.lls.org/ The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has some great resources about the cancer, for caregivers of cancer patients, as well as information about their Light the Night Walk to raise funds to fight this disease.
  • https://www.livestrong.org/ This site is not directly related to NHL, however, it is a great resource for anyone who has heard those dreaded words and gotten a diagnosis. There is wonderful information on how to handle treatments, and information for those who have beaten their cancer and are living their “new normal.”
  • https://www.cancer.org/ Again, not strictly for NHL, but a wonderful resource.

In addition to these wonderful organizations, there are many more out there that are helping to make a difference one treatment at a time. They offer hope to those who need it most. They are a beacon in the darkness of cancer.

In an effort to help them eradicate this absolutely awful disease, I am pledging to raise awareness. I will be wearing some form of lime green, which is the color for Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma to help bring awareness of it, for the entire month of September. It is an extremely common form of cancer, which means many people’s worlds are devastated by a diagnosis. Cancer is becoming too common. We need to find a cure. So in addition, I will make a donation to help bring about a cure.

If you want to donate, any one of these sites is a wonderful cause, and they could definitely use some help in this fight! If you don’t have the funds, wear lime green, raise awareness! Join us at the Light the Night Walk. My local one is in October, and I will be there walking, celebrating, and mourning all those who have and currently are fighting the good fight to take their lives back, and all those who lost their fight in the end. Let’s end cancer in our lifetime.

We Almost Made It

We’ve all been there. You like him, he likes you, you two have serious chemistry, and yet, you’re not officially dating yet. You hang out together, text and talk all the time, but neither of you has made a move past good friends. You’re in the Almost Relationship zone. This is very important, because from there, things go two ways. One of you makes a move, and you slip into relationship territory, or one of you makes a move, and something happens that changes the dynamic, and even that friendship suffers.

I’ve really only ever been on one side of that dynamic. For me, the almost relationships never seemed to quite work out, as far as when we started as friends and then tried to move on from there. I’m not sure why, since I am so much more comfortable with myself if we’ve been friends for a while, rather than jumping right into the dating game, yet that’s how all my relationships started, jumping in head first. Yet, in some cases, in those almost relationships, I feel like we had a better connection than some of the guys I’ve dated. I attribute that to the friendship that we developed before anything else happened. There’s almost something exciting about being in that point of your friendship, where you’re friends, but you both know it could easily develop into something more, if you just had the right timing. In my case, timing wasn’t on my side, so it wasn’t meant to be, but it was nice. I always had someone to text, someone who could make me smile and laugh about the silliest things. I could talk to him about a lot of different things, and I never felt stupid or out of place, it all just felt so natural. I can’t speak for him, but I’d hope the feeling was mutual as far as that goes, and that we made a good team for a little while. But then the friendship builds, and you hit a point where you have to decide what’s going to happen, where it’s going. Do you continue down the friendship path, or do you explore something new, something that could change things completely?

When you hit that fork in the road, you should really consider what it is you want. You clearly have feelings for this person, so do you want to go ahead and take the plunge? Or do you want to play it safe, keep the friendship going, and hope that maybe in a year or two, he will make a move? I’ve never been the most patient person, so to me, I didn’t want to wait years for something to happen. Plus, I was fairly confident that the feelings were mutual, so I really didn’t see this almost relationship ending in any way, except progressing into something real. Well, I definitely am not psychic, as my almost relationship ended and so did the friendship when I got up the nerve to say something. Which, any type of rejection hurts, but such is the game of life and love. Would we have ever worked out into anything if I had let the friendship run its course? I guess we’ll never know, but I like to think that things work out exactly the way they’re supposed to. However, that only happens if you’re willing to take a risk. Sure, my almost relationships didn’t go so well, but for others, it’s that moment of bravery when you reveal your feelings that the magic happens, and your happily ever after begins.

So, if you find yourself in one of those almost relationships, think hard about what you want. In life, we never know how long we have or what is going to be thrown our way, so it’s important to just live it how you want to. So, if you want to wait and see what develops in a few years, sit back and wait. If you want to take a risk, and roll the dice, then definitely go for it. You never know when that risk will pay off big time.

God’s Timing and Your Timing Are Two Different Things

I’m a huge planner. I love making plans, whether it’s for brunch next Saturday or whether it’s planning my next five years. One thing I’ve learned though is that God’s plan and timing is so completely different than what you plan for yourself. You can make all the plans you want, but if He doesn’t want it to happen, then it’s not going to happen.

I had my whole life planned out. I was going to be engaged by 24, married with kids by 28, and so on and so forth. As I am 24 now, and completely unengaged, I don’t think my little life plan worked out the way it was supposed to. But that’s what happens when you plan something out that you have no control over. It sounds nice to think that you can make your life work out exactly how you want it, but the past few years have taught me that as much as I want to pretend I have control, I don’t. And that’s ok. Which, as a control freak, is a very difficult thing for me to say.

Don’t get me wrong, making plans is still a great thing to do. I’m all for listing out goals, and planning on doing something in a few years or figuring out the next steps in your life. I definitely still encourage that. But you have to learn to roll with what life dishes out. So sometimes, your plans get changed, and you can’t get too disappointed that it didn’t go according to plan, because really, what are you going to do about it? It’s disappointing when things don’t go the way we want, but it’s a part of life. In that disappointment, in that change of plans, you may find something even better came from it. I can say from personal experience that some of the best things in my life were not planned. I never planned on joining a sorority, but it brought me a life-long sisterhood and friends who have been there for me through thick and thin.

It makes us feel good to think that we have some semblance of control over our lives, but at the same time, we have to know that God is the one who is truly in charge. Sometimes, things go according to our plan because He wants it that way. Other times, He changes the plan and gives us something completely unexpected. I just like to think, that whenever my plans change in a certain way, it means that His plan is even better than mine. He sees much farther out, and knows that I need this to go on the right track, and that while I may want that now, I’ll be better off not getting it right now. It’s a difficult pill to swallow, but it’s so essential to living our lives.

Change can be scary, whether it’s changing jobs or realizing that your life has not gone according to plan. But it can also be an amazing thing, and can lead to something even better than you could have ever planned. You just have to keep the faith, and know that things will be ok in the end. Just trust in God’s timing, and in His plan, and it’ll all work out. He’s in control, and He always knows what’s best for us, even if it means making us wait a little longer than we’d like.

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