It’s OK to Not Be OK

We’re all dealing with a lot right now during this quarantine. Some of us are dealing with job losses or pay cuts, while others are trying to adjust to being at home instead of traveling, while others are stuck in bad relationships that they wish they could get out of. For some, this is a nice little vacation, and if you’re in that position, then I’m really happy for you.

I’d like to say I’m in that position, but unfortunately, I’m not. I am blessed to still have a job, but there have been some cuts and changes that have hurt, and are things I’m still adjusting to. Some days are better than others when it comes to that adjustment. Some days I can plow through like it’s a regular work day. Others, it can feel to be really overwhelming, especially considering the changes that have had to be made. On those days, it’s harder to feel like everything is going to be ok and that all is good. And on those days, it’s ok to not be ok.

I’m usually a very positive person, I can always find something sunny to focus on, and that has helped me through some very hard times in my life. However, when there is no sign of this pandemic ending, with so much death, and fear, it’s hard to find anything positive in it, and I’ve had to look a bit harder. If you’re struggling to find the positives today, that’s ok too. We don’t always have to make the most of a bad situation. Sometimes, it’s important and necessary for us to allow ourselves to feel the sadness, to feel the anger, the unfairness of it all and just sulk for a bit. You don’t have to tell yourself, “well at least I still have a job, I should be grateful” or “at least I had a savings, so I’ll be fine financially, so I have no reason to be upset.” We all walk through different storms in life, and just because your storm differs doesn’t mean that you have to discount it. Yes, others may have harder storms, but yours is still affecting you, which means you don’t have to just put on a happy face about it.

Allow yourself the opportunity to feel the sadness and then you can get through it. You’re allowed a day to sulk and to realize just how unfair this is. That’s how life goes, it is unfair, it does suck sometimes, and life generally doesn’t go at all how we plan it. However, that doesn’t mean that God has given you a bad life. It just means that this moment in it is not so sunny. Rain is always going to come and we do need to learn to dance in the rain, but we also need to accept that sometimes you just need to sit back and let the storm pass. When you’re not feeling like dancing, sit back, find something that comforts you, and just let the storm blow through.

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