Heartbreak is one of the best and worst things in life. You may be wondering, how is it one of the best? In most people’s experiences, heartbreak absolutely sucks, and there’s not much good in it. But, that’s just because you’re only looking at one side of it. Think of some of the most powerful songs you know, some of the most heart-wrenching books you’ve read, some of the strongest people you know. They are all products of heartbreak, showing that something beautiful can come from something so painful and awful, that some people never even put their hearts out there to begin with. If you are one who is still putting their heart out there, good for you! It’s tough, and it can be especially tough to figure out how to try again when you’re heartbroken. Luckily, I’ve compiled some of the best ways to get over heartbreak, so you can get back out there, and turn your pain into something beautiful.
Since it’s not likely we are all master songwriters, though I really wish I was, you may have to use a different method to get over your heartbreak. So here’s some of my favorites, tried and true, ways to get over heartbreak.
- Write a letter. Write a letter to your ex, and let everything out. If you dumped him, but are feeling upset about it, if he dumped you, let out all the feelings, let out the anger, the sadness, hold nothing back. And then, throw that letter away. Don’t mail it, don’t send it to your friends, don’t do anything like that. Just get the feelings out, and then throw it away. Yeah, it can be tempting to mail it to him and try to create some perfect ending where he realized he was wrong, but just don’t. Your life isn’t a rom-com, even though we all wish ours was some times.
- Eat some cookie dough and cry. I know, I know, the raw egg, trust me, when heartbreak has got you down, it’s worth the risk. There is nothing like pulling a tub of cookie dough close, and crying your eyes out. Just know the pain won’t go on forever, and don’t lean on the cookie dough too much. A bit of it is nice, but too much can be dangerous.
- Write a poem. If you are gifted, write a poem. I used to do this in high school, and somewhere in my little notebook that holds them, I’d put the initials of the guy who it was about. Now, some I have no need to look for the initials, I still remember, but others, it’s quite entertaining to look at and have a rush of memories come flooding back. But this, like writing a letter, can be so cathartic in getting those feelings out, and helping you to come to terms and find that closure.
- Go out dancing. Hurting and/or angry with a guy? Go out dancing! Line dancing is my go-to for pretty much everything, and it helps with heartbreak too. You know what helps even more? Accidentally running into a cute guy on the dance floor that you then wind up spending the rest of the night chatting with. That’s a good confidence booster 🙂
- Movie night. Gather up your friends, but don’t put in some romantic movie that’ll make you cry. No, go for a comedy, something that will lighten up your mood, and get you laughing. Nothing helps a bad mood like a good dose of laughter.
- Plan a getaway. The best way to get over someone is to get away from them. So plan a trip, take a vacation, and just get away from everything. Yeah, they may still be in your life when you get back, but hey, you got a great vacation out of it.
- Go for a run. This is another one of my favorite go-to’s. Running, or even just walking outside, allows me to clear my head. So when I got dumped via text in college, I went for a run. When I was getting mixed signals from a guy I liked, I hit the nature trails. It’ll help clear your head, and give you those endorphins. Because, as we know, exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy… 🙂
- Feel the pain. This one is huge, even if you take on another way to do it, this is necessary. Let yourself feel the pain, recognize those feelings, and accept that they were real. Even if he didn’t feel the same, or things ended badly, let yourself remember the good stuff and feel the pain. It sounds counterintuitive, but I promise, it’s necessary to fully healing. The best part is, you’ll wake up one day, and the pain will be gone.
- Forgive. Don’t do it for him. Heck no, he’s not worth it. But you are. So forgive him for you and for your health. Recognize that even without an apology, if you want to move on with your life, you need to forgive him.
- Recognize how much better you are without him. Maybe you’re still hoping that in 5 years, fate or destiny will bring the two of you back together, hello rom com, and that’s fine, but during this period, allow yourself to grow. I’m a firm believer that God puts people in our lives and takes them away when either we need to grow from them or they’ve fulfilled their purpose in our lives. So, recognize that while he may have seemed like the greatest thing, he wasn’t. At least, not for where you are going. Maybe he is great, and maybe he is one of the nicest guys, that’s good to recognize. But that doesn’t mean he was right for you. It means he was right at that moment, and now that moment has passed. Recognize that you have not decreased in value, that you still deserve something great. Again, maybe he is great, but not the great that you deserve.
Unfortunately, there is no timetable on how long the heartbreak will last. But you know what, take this time and focus on yourself, focus on your friends, your family, on God. Focus on what’s important, and distract yourself from it. Don’t spend the time wallowing, get out there and have a new adventure, try a new restaurant, and find a new layer to yourself. It’s better time spent than stalking his FB page.