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The Truth About Divorce

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Hey y’all. Time to get really serious here for a minute. How many of you come from divorced families? I’m one of them, my parents divorced when I was in my teens, and they separated for a bit before that. I think anyone who has divorced parents can generally say it isn’t fun. Sure, all those self-help books will focus on all the positives about divorce (i.e. two Christmases, two birthdays, more one-on-one time with a parent, etc.) but it’s definitely not all fun and games. Now, don’t get me wrong, I never wanted my parents to get back together, at least not after the initial shock and change got out of my system. My parents are better off not being together, that’s just how it is. However, that doesn’t mean that divorce is a fun process.

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Because of my age when my parents divorced, I knew a little bit more about the process than I would have if I were say, a little kid. One of the big things I noticed about the divorce was that it took a lot of time. Both of my parents had different lawyers, obviously, and with that, they had different meetings they had to take, not to mention the time spent together in mediation, with their lawyers, and then the time spent in court finalizing the actual divorce. It takes a lot of time, and it meant some late nights and afternoons, when both of them were busy in meetings or getting information or whatever homework their lawyers had given them. It always seemed to me like it would be so much easier for them if their lawyers had been more flexible with meeting. I certainly was busy in high school between my college classes, tennis, school musical, and other clubs, and before I was 16, I didn’t always have a ride to those events. It would have been nice if my driver, aka parent, hadn’t always been stuck in a different part of town in a lawyer meeting.

While I certainly can’t tell you who to choose as your divorce lawyer, if you are choosing something like that, I can tell you about one who really seems to want to make this process easier on you. It’s hard as a kid to see your parents separate. I can’t imagine actually being the one who has to separate from my spouse of x amount of years (don’t forget, hopeless romantic here, I want to be married once, and that’s it, forever and ever till death do us part). Luckily, so many lawyers seem to understand just how difficult this process is and do what they can to make it easier on their clients. Take Judy-Ann Smith Law Firm, P.A., for example, she’s based in Jacksonville, FL., but has clients all over the state. Do you know how she does it? Her firm offers Skype meetings, video conferencing, and they even have a client portal. I know things weren’t as popular tech-wise when my parents got divorced, but that seems much easier to me than having to drive to the lawyers office, taking time off of work or away from your family, to then drive home and resume the hectic life that is literally everyone’s. Even if you don’t have kids, Skyping your lawyer from the comfort of your own home is definitely more appealing than going into a law office. Not only that, they also offer flexible payment options. I didn’t have insight into all the financial stuff behind divorce, but I do know it is expensive. Lawyers are necessary in some cases, but definitely not the cheapest things around, so it’s always nice when they have flexible payment plans, to help those out who were not necessarily financially prepared for such a change in their lives. Let’s be honest, no one prepares and plans for a divorce. But the most important thing this law firm offers is communication. They stay connected, even after their work with you is done and you are no longer a client. As for Judy-Ann herself, she takes the time to truly get to know her clients. She was previously in the nursing field, and while she has transitioned out of healthcare, it’s obvious that she still wants to help others by what she currently does now. Having someone who truly cares and truly wants to help someone, that’s good customer service right there, and I can tell you, it’s rare to find that with any company.

The most important takeaway from this is, if you are considering divorce, do your research. Find a law office and lawyer who works with you, who fits your personality and style, and can do their best to help you move forward in this next chapter in your life. It’s not going to be an easy chapter, but the right lawyer can certainly make it bearable.

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Also, if you are a child of divorce, always, always remember, it’s not your fault, and you are still loved. I know personally, my parents’ love for me hasn’t changed at all in that divorce, and I am still close with both of my parents, despite not living with both of them for a couple of years. And while this may sound cheesy, some of those self-help books really do help. If nothing else, it’s a great reminder that you aren’t alone, and that while it seems like your world has stopped spinning and things are crashing around you, they really aren’t, and with God in charge, it all works out the way it is supposed to 😊

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