High Standards in Relationships

Hey y’all. So recently some of the people in my life have decided that I need to be in a relationship, and so they’ve started playing matchmaker. Don’t get me wrong, I am so ok with that, but I think they’re getting a little frustrated with me because of how picky I am. Which truly, if you know me even at all, you know I’m pretty picky when it comes to things. And that’s everything in my life.

I’ve always been raised as a strong, independent female who doesn’t need to be in a relationship. This means, that when I am looking for one, I have extremely high standards. That’s partly because I’ve always held myself to high standards, I don’t half-ass things, and I certainly don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t give their 110% to everything they do. So yeah, I’m picky. I prefer to think of it as having high standards, but call it what you want. Everything I’ve started, I do my best to finish, and to do it well, even if I’m not all that impressed with it. So, when I’m looking for someone to spend my life with, I’m looking for someone like that. Someone who has stuff in common with me, someone who enjoys musical theatre and dancing, someone who won’t mind me singing in the car (I can match pitch, but that doesn’t mean it’s pretty), and someone who is constantly trying to improve themselves. I’m always working on improving myself, and yeah it’d be great to have someone who thinks I’m perfect, but let’s face it, I’m sassy and full of sarcasm, and that’s not perfect to some. But while I’m not perfect and I know no one else is, I still want someone who will continuously try to improve. And personally, I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I’ve had several people tell me that maybe I should lower my standards, and then I’d be able to find someone. I mean, I think I’ve accepted that I probably won’t wind up marrying someone who looks like Chris Evans, though a girl can still dream, and I’ve accepted that we’re not going to agree on everything, which is good, what would we have to debate about if we had the same beliefs on everything? But there are some things I can’t lower my standards on. For example, education is extremely important to me, I need it to be important to whoever I end up with. Whether you wound up using that degree or you went after a trade, as long as you keep learning new things, that’s all that matters, but if you graduate from school and think, “great, I never have to learn anything again or pick up a book” then odds are it’s not going to work. Same thing with your job. I don’t care if you love it, hate it, or are indifferent. If you don’t try your hardest, no matter how you feel about it, then we’re not a good pair. You’ve entered into a contract with your company to do your best for them, and that means giving 100% no matter what. I do that, even on my bad days, and it’s important to me you do too, because that shows a lot about your character. And yeah, you have to be a good person too. Compassion goes a long way, and we should always be trying to improve the world we’re in.  And you don’t have to love green smoothies as much as I do, but caring about fitness is key to me, because it’s something I care about. And bonus points if you let me try out some weird vegetable dish I find on Pinterest.

So yeah, maybe I do have high standards, maybe I do expect a lot from a guy. But I don’t expect candlelit dinners, and midnight picnics in the park, though I certainly wouldn’t complain if that was the plan. But the reality is, I’m good just sitting together talking under the stars or just going out to see a movie. I prefer that actually.  That’s more my style, so while I have high standards in certain areas, I am also extremely laid back about other things. The main key here is knowing not to lower your standards, even if it seems like that person isn’t there. It just means the time isn’t right. I’m a big believer in true love and soulmates, and I truly do believe that there is someone for everyone. Maybe you found them years ago and are living your happily ever after, maybe you met them and fell apart and will fall together again in the future, and maybe you still haven’t met them yet. No matter what though, stay true to yourself and your high standards. It’ll all work out in the end when it’s supposed to, and when you least expect it. So be open to new experiences, but if it doesn’t feel right to you, don’t feel pressured to play along. Your standards matter to you for a reason, don’t ever forget that.

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