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Shoot Your Shot

We’ve all heard it at some point. “You need to just ask him out, if you’re interested just go for it.” Well, pretty sure we all know that’s easier said than done. There are so many reasons to hesitate with doing that. Maybe he’s not asking me out because he’s not interested, maybe he’s just being nice, maybe he’s just being friendly, I don’t want to change our friendship, I don’t want to be rejected, etc., etc. The list really can go on and on for all the reasons not to just go for it and shoot your shot. But here’s the problem: if you never ask, you never know what the answer is. So you can work it all out in your head and decide that it wasn’t meant to be, but if you never try, you never actually know. And while I think it’s great that we seem to think we know people, reality is, we don’t. People can be extremely hard to read, especially when it comes to relationships. So you may think you know what they’ll say, but people can surprise you. Happens to me all the time.

The Timing Isn’t Right

How often have we told ourselves that it’s just not the right time, and maybe if things were different…Well, that’s all good, except when is the right time? When everything in your life is working out perfectly and you have no worries in the world? If you live a life like that, then I envy you a bit. Because I can say for sure that nothing has ever been the right time in my life. There’s always something going on, whether it be me starting a new job, or a semester ending or house hunting. Generally, as people, we’re all busy. We all have lives and different commitments that we have to deal with. Does that mean that you shouldn’t go for it anyway and see what happens with that person you like? No, it just means if you like them, and they’re important to you, you’ll make the time. If you don’t, then you probably didn’t like them that much. But I can pretty much guarantee that if you’re waiting for the right time to ask someone out, there won’t be a right time. Just give it a shot, and see what happens.

They’re Moving Or You’re Moving

So you waited a while, became friends with the person, and now one of you is moving, so even though you were going to make your move, now you’re not. First of all, there is this thing called long distance, and if you both really want it, you’ll make it work. It’s definitely not the easiest thing, but it can be done, especially if you have that friendship to back it up. And while we like to pretend we have our futures planned out, plans change, unexpected things happen, and you may wind up closer to them or vice versa. Unless you have a crystal ball, you don’t know how things are going to play out, so don’t act like you can. When we make plans, God laughs. Remember, it’s all under control, just not yours.

They’ll Never Notice Me

Well not with that attitude they won’t! Reality is, I’ve spoken with people from my past who I thought had no interest in me, because they never made a move, and neither did I, and I just figured they didn’t notice me. And you know what I found out? I was wrong, they did notice me, they just were afraid to say something or didn’t think we wanted the same things. Unfortunately, sometimes when you shoot your shot you will miss. And that’s nothing on you or the other person, it’s just life. Sometimes, you just want different things. And maybe in the future that’ll change, or maybe it’s not meant to be. But when you wait years to actually come forward and say that, you’re pretty much ensuring that nothing will happen. Yeah, I spoke with some of these guys, and it was an enlightening conversation, but that doesn’t change the past. The chance that was there, is no longer relevant, because neither of us decided to give it a shot.

Long story short: don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. I recently did, and who knows what will come of it, possibly nothing, I’m not sure yet. All I know is, at least I tried, and I won’t be left wondering what if? I hate to wonder what could have happened if I was just a little braver, if I had just gone for it. Yeah, things can get awkward sometimes when you shoot your shot, but hey, you got your answer then. I’m the type of girl who’d rather know where I stand, rather than to wonder and have to guess. And, I’ve heard from the guys I work with, that they don’t mind when a girl asks them out, because sometimes, they think you’re out of their league, and they won’t even try, even if they think she may be interested. So, if you’re interested in someone or just want to get to know someone better, go for it. Shoot your shot and see what happens. It may be the little push that’s needed to get your love story going.

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High Standards in Relationships

Hey y’all. So recently some of the people in my life have decided that I need to be in a relationship, and so they’ve started playing matchmaker. Don’t get me wrong, I am so ok with that, but I think they’re getting a little frustrated with me because of how picky I am. Which truly, if you know me even at all, you know I’m pretty picky when it comes to things. And that’s everything in my life.

I’ve always been raised as a strong, independent female who doesn’t need to be in a relationship. This means, that when I am looking for one, I have extremely high standards. That’s partly because I’ve always held myself to high standards, I don’t half-ass things, and I certainly don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t give their 110% to everything they do. So yeah, I’m picky. I prefer to think of it as having high standards, but call it what you want. Everything I’ve started, I do my best to finish, and to do it well, even if I’m not all that impressed with it. So, when I’m looking for someone to spend my life with, I’m looking for someone like that. Someone who has stuff in common with me, someone who enjoys musical theatre and dancing, someone who won’t mind me singing in the car (I can match pitch, but that doesn’t mean it’s pretty), and someone who is constantly trying to improve themselves. I’m always working on improving myself, and yeah it’d be great to have someone who thinks I’m perfect, but let’s face it, I’m sassy and full of sarcasm, and that’s not perfect to some. But while I’m not perfect and I know no one else is, I still want someone who will continuously try to improve. And personally, I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I’ve had several people tell me that maybe I should lower my standards, and then I’d be able to find someone. I mean, I think I’ve accepted that I probably won’t wind up marrying someone who looks like Chris Evans, though a girl can still dream, and I’ve accepted that we’re not going to agree on everything, which is good, what would we have to debate about if we had the same beliefs on everything? But there are some things I can’t lower my standards on. For example, education is extremely important to me, I need it to be important to whoever I end up with. Whether you wound up using that degree or you went after a trade, as long as you keep learning new things, that’s all that matters, but if you graduate from school and think, “great, I never have to learn anything again or pick up a book” then odds are it’s not going to work. Same thing with your job. I don’t care if you love it, hate it, or are indifferent. If you don’t try your hardest, no matter how you feel about it, then we’re not a good pair. You’ve entered into a contract with your company to do your best for them, and that means giving 100% no matter what. I do that, even on my bad days, and it’s important to me you do too, because that shows a lot about your character. And yeah, you have to be a good person too. Compassion goes a long way, and we should always be trying to improve the world we’re in.  And you don’t have to love green smoothies as much as I do, but caring about fitness is key to me, because it’s something I care about. And bonus points if you let me try out some weird vegetable dish I find on Pinterest.

So yeah, maybe I do have high standards, maybe I do expect a lot from a guy. But I don’t expect candlelit dinners, and midnight picnics in the park, though I certainly wouldn’t complain if that was the plan. But the reality is, I’m good just sitting together talking under the stars or just going out to see a movie. I prefer that actually.  That’s more my style, so while I have high standards in certain areas, I am also extremely laid back about other things. The main key here is knowing not to lower your standards, even if it seems like that person isn’t there. It just means the time isn’t right. I’m a big believer in true love and soulmates, and I truly do believe that there is someone for everyone. Maybe you found them years ago and are living your happily ever after, maybe you met them and fell apart and will fall together again in the future, and maybe you still haven’t met them yet. No matter what though, stay true to yourself and your high standards. It’ll all work out in the end when it’s supposed to, and when you least expect it. So be open to new experiences, but if it doesn’t feel right to you, don’t feel pressured to play along. Your standards matter to you for a reason, don’t ever forget that.

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