Musings of a 25 Year Old

Well, I made it. I’m officially the big 2-5. A quarter of a century. And before you ask, no I don’t feel any different, not wiser, not more of an adult. But there is something about turning 25 that makes you reflect on life and where you are. And think back on where you thought you would be at 25 years old five or even ten years ago.

I thought I would be engaged. The hopeless romantic in me figured that by 25, I’d definitely be engaged to my prince charming. I mean, that was the plan after all. Meet him no later than 22, be engaged by 25, married by 26, and at least one kid by 30. That was the grand plan I had when I was younger, but I think it’s safe to say, that did not pan out quite the way I thought it would. Instead, I have hit 25 single, without having met prince charming, at least as far as I know. I guess it’s safe to say that plan has not worked out quite the way I wanted it. But that’s the funny thing about plans like that. You don’t get to control them, nor do you get to decide what age these things are going to happen. That’s up to God, and He decided that 25 was not that magical age like I thought it would be. And that’s ok. Life changes, and while that’s sometimes hard for me as a control freak/lover of plans, it is what it is and I’m learning to roll with it.

I thought I would be owning my own business. Yes, you read that right. When I was 20, my big dream was to own my own event planning company by this time in my life. However, I wound up going in a completely different direction, and that’s ok. The plan changed, and I must say, I think it turned out well. I didn’t get a “big girl job” immediately after I graduated college, instead I worked retail full time for a couple years. And I enjoyed it. It taught me a lot about customer service, and it taught me about perseverance, and never giving up. And now, I’ve been in the SEO world for over two years, I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve grown a lot as a person. It wasn’t where I imagined I’d be, but I’m pretty happy with where I have wound up.

Now, those are big things that I expected to happen. But the great thing about life is that there are so many great unplanned things that happen in between when you’re making plans and God is having a laugh and making His own plans.

I’m working on a novel. Will it be good? Hard to say, I’d like to think so, but there’s no guarantee on that one. I can tell you, I’ve enjoyed writing it, and I do plan on sending it out to some publishers and then if nothing happens from that, I’ll look into self publishing it. I’m not doing it for the money, nor do I expect to become a famous author from it (though, I would not complain if that happened!) but instead I’m doing it because I like to write, and it’s fun.

I’ve grown this blog. This blog was originally on Blogger, called Rachel’s Closet, and was a project for an SEO class I was taking in college (the irony is not lost on me that I would wind up taking that class). It has since grown to encompass so much more than just fashion tips and to be so much more than just a class project. It’s still slow going, but I have faith in it, and I’m putting in the work to make it what I want it to be. I’ve also got a few more changes in the works for it, so big things will be coming.

I’ve done commercials and even an Indie film. I never thought at 25 that I would be pursuing my love of acting, let alone have gotten to be an extra in a movie with Tom Cruise, be in Disney and Universal commercials, or be a supporting role in an independent film. Those experiences have been absolutely amazing. I met so many new people, had a great time, and got to explore an industry I’ve always wanted to be in. Sure, it’s all small scale stuff, but it’s been amazing to get to be a part of them, and I’ve made great memories.

All in all, it’s not whether you’ve made the goals that you set. It’s whether you are happy in your life or not. And if not, then change it. Make that a goal of yours, and execute it. Life’s too short to not be happy.



That Ghost

There are certain dating games I can’t stand. Playing hard to get is one of them. It just adds unnecessary confusion to an already confusing situation. Breadcrumbing, also not my thing, and not something I’m a huge fan of. But you know what absolutely drives me nuts? Ghosting. And the worst part is, I’ve done it.

Before you judge me too harshly, let me explain. This guy and I had gone on a couple of dates, but things weren’t really working out on my end. So I tried to end things, but he wanted to work on our issues, and I agreed we’d give it another shot. But, things didn’t change, and when I was ready for a change, he wasn’t. So he kept texting, and at first I did my best to respond. But eventually, I slowly eased off on responding, and instead gave little information back. Until he stopped texting. So, it wasn’t the true definition of ghosting, but it was enough of it for me. And I can say, I don’t ever want to do that to someone again, because I know how much it hurts to be ghosted.

I’ve been ghosted by several people, some friends, some guys I liked. No matter the situation, it totally sucks. Not to mention, it goes against everything that we as humans want. We want closure, we want endings. We don’t like when we miss the end of a show, or the end of a book is ripped out, because we want to know what happened, we want to get closure on that chapter. But when you ghost someone, you’re denying them that closure. You’re also denying them the chance to know what went wrong. If you’re acting like everything is fine, saying you want to see someone again, and talking to them for a bit before just disappearing, they have no idea that anything is wrong, they have no way to know that it’s coming. Which means, they also can’t work towards change, if it was something that they did wrong. Maybe you didn’t like something, but rather than telling that person, you just disappeared. Maybe, you ghosted on them because you liked her a little too much, and that freaked you out, or you decided that you weren’t good enough for her. Well, that’s great, except everyone else should get a say in things as well. Yeah, I get it, sometimes people are too clingy, or don’t want to accept something has ended. But before you ghost, make sure that you didn’t lead someone on. If you are talking to someone and something happens, and you both agree to still be friends, then you don’t get a right to just disappear.

But, if you have made that decision to ghost someone and ignore anything they send, just make sure that you’re ok with that. You’re ok with the fact that that’s how you’ll be known to their friends and family. “The one who disappeared.” That you’re ok with treating someone that poorly that you’re going to pretend that they don’t exist. Do I sound harsh? Well, that’s because I’m not proud of the fact that I’ve done it, and I’ve had it happen enough to know just how much it sucks.

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