Breakups suck. Sometimes they suck when you weren’t even dating someone, but that almost relationship still hurts. But even harder than just surviving the breakup, is opening your heart again after the fact. I mean, we all know that heartbreak is a fact of life, but sometimes it can be hard to let someone in, especially after we’ve had a particularly hard breakup.
I personally think that’s part of the problem with modern dating. Everyone’s so big on keeping things casual so they don’t get hurt, but the reality is, you can still get hurt. Whether you’ve fallen for your best friend and it’s not reciprocated, or you just broke up with someone that you’d been dating for 3 years, it can be hard to start all over again. As humans, we aren’t that great at dealing with change. In fact, I’d say most of us will say we’re good with change, but only the change we want. Otherwise, we resist the change, and want nothing to do with it. But the fact of the matter is, whether you let someone in or not, at least consciously, you can still get hurt. They can still leave you or cheat on you or ghost you. As much as you’d like to control how other people feel, it’s not something that’s in your power, and that means that they have the ability to hurt you. Which makes it hard to open yourself up to someone new, and makes it hard to jump back on the horse, so to speak, and back into the dating pool.
Even if you’ve been single for a while, it can be hard to open yourself up to someone. You’ve adjusted to your life the way it is, you have your friends, your job, your habits, and bringing someone else into that means adjusting. It may mean that instead of Saturday snuggling with your dog, you have date night. It may mean that you have to go out on nights that you’d rather be doing something else to go support someone else or meet his friends. That’s a lot, especially if you’ve fallen into a routine that you’re comfortable with. We all love our comfort zones, but sometimes it’s important to leave it. Sometimes, you have to leave it if you really want to let someone in, and that can be scary, and it can be difficult.
As scary as it is to open your heart again, sometimes it’s just necessary. So next time you meet a cute guy at a bar, swallow your fear, and go say hi. I’m telling you from personal experience, sometimes it can work out in your favor. And yeah, it’s scary to try something new, but you’ll miss every shot you never take. So take a shot, give it a try, and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, then just tell yourself it wasn’t meant to be. But getting out there, will help you get over the fear of letting people in. Reality is, you’re always going to get hurt if you love someone, but a life without love isn’t worth living.