We all have an inner monologue. Maybe it’s something along the lines of “phew, can’t believe I was first in line at Starbucks” or maybe something a little more mean, “I can’t believe I just said that, what was I thinking.” Some of these inner thoughts are things that we would say out loud and have no worries. In fact, we’d even say it to other people. Other times, what we say to ourselves, is something that we never in a million years would tell someone else. So what makes it ok to say it to yourself?
I’m big on treating yourself the way you’d treat others. Very similar to, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Yet, it’s something we all struggle with. You wouldn’t tell your coworker that their email had a meaningless typo, yet why do you internally nag yourself over it for the rest of the day? You wouldn’t tell your best friend that she’s having a bad hair day, so why do you tell yourself that and lower your own self-esteem? The way you treat yourself is so much more important than some people seem to realize. We all internalize things that we dislike about ourselves, but it’s when we are constantly making snarky comments or thoughts that it becomes a problem.
It’s something we see in society a lot. Someone says “oh my gosh, I’m so fat after that meal.” Yeah, maybe they’re saying it in a joking voice, but in their mind, they could really believe that. They could really be hurting their own self with these negative thoughts and beliefs. And that’s not something you’d say to anyone else. You wouldn’t make that comment period. Yet, we hear it and see it everyday. The problem is, you can’t know for sure how the person saying it really feels. Yeah, maybe they know it’s not an issue and are just joking. But on the flip side, maybe they’ve always been insecure about their weight, and truly think it’s an issue. That’s a dangerous line to walk, and it’s completely unnecessary.
We focus so much on building others up, on being there for someone else, having that positive pep talk to help them out when they’re down. Try giving yourself a pep talk. In the mirror each morning, find some stuff you like about yourself, and focus on that. Don’t focus on the negative, but instead find the positive. Think about how great of a public speaker you are, or tell yourself how you are going to ace that presentation today.
Words can hurt, even when they’re joking and even when directed to yourself. There’s so much negativity directed towards us from others, there’s no need to add to that ourselves. Instead, take a positive approach, and treat yourself how you’d treat others. Kindness is so important, you never know what someone is going through, and what comments can make or break someone’s day.