Maybe, Someday

As humans, we crave an ending. You may not realize it, but even something simple as a song, leave you wanting an ending. You know how you can get part of a song stuck in your head? Well, turns out if you finish the song in your head, you’ll get it out of your head. Your brain is repeating it because it wants closure or the end of the song. So, you’re welcome for that fun little life tip. Unfortunately, other types of closure aren’t as easy to get.

I’m big on happy endings, but I’m also big on solving mysteries. I can’t stand not knowing things, whether it’s not knowing something as simple as how to change a tire (which I’ve done successfully thank you very much) or if it’s not knowing how someone feels about me. I crave this knowledge, but I especially crave it when I’m in a relationship or almost relationship. I want to know if you want to move forward in it with me or not. What drives me insane is not getting that closure. So I like you, you like me, and when we discuss it, you tell me “maybe someday.” Great, so you’re telling me not now, because the timing isn’t right, but you’re also not telling me when it’ll happen, because someday is pretty open-ended. So I’m not in a relationship, but you’ve dangled just enough hope to keep me from wanting to act single. I didn’t get closure on what we were. I didn’t get closure as far as a definitive answer. I mean, when you use timing as an excuse, what does that even mean? Is the timing right in a month or when you get a new job or what? It sucks too, if you’re a loyal person, because you’ll wait for a while, until you hit your breaking point, when you want more out of life than “maybe someday.” You want that closure of are we or aren’t we.

And yeah, sometimes life isn’t that simple, and I get that, I understand I won’t always get the closure I want, but it would be nice if I did. It would be nice if we all did. Because what’s hardest for me is knowing when to give up on that “maybe, someday.” I’ve hit that point with others before, where I can’t keep my life on hold or keep waiting, because no matter how much I want to, I have to keep life going. Having closure at the time would have helped, but I guess I could have figured it out earlier if I had noticed that I put more effort into it than he did. Either way, it would have been easier if I hadn’t believed that whole “maybe, someday” line. So here’s my advice, don’t settle for anything less than a commitment.


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