The Lone Single in a Sea of Couples

Ok so maybe the title is a bit dramatic, but it gets the point across. In my friend group, I am the only single person in the area. My best friend is married, my other friend is in a relationship, then we have another married one, and so on and so forth. I, on the other hand, am not married or seeing anyone now. I did attempt to change that with a dating app (see my previous post, it didn’t go well), and I’ve tried to meet people the old fashioned way at bars, etc., but it’s not always so easy when everyone you know is seeing someone.

  • Couples go with couples. Now usually, I don’t mind not getting invited to stuff that I know is just a couple going, because as we all know, three’s a crowd. However, sometimes that means you miss out on fun invites, because they didn’t want you to feel awkward. So instead of it being couples, let’s make it a group! Group outings are always fun, and don’t have the added pressure of everyone needing to be paired up. Just sayin…
  • Everyone is trying to set you up. I mean EVERYONE. “Oh you know who’d be great for you? My second cousin twice removed who I haven’t seen since I was five, but he’s single now.” Well great, except you don’t know anything about your second cousin twice removed, so you’re now telling me it doesn’t matter who I find, as long as I can get in a relationship. Standards? Throw them out the window! Personality match? Who needs it, as long as you’re with someone to join in on being a couple.
  • Holidays. Holidays can be so great, I personally love Christmas, but one of the things I hate that always comes with any holiday is the inevitable question “who are you dating?” Then there’s the other end of the mistletoe, the candy hearts, etc. I don’t have a Valentine, I don’t have anyone to kiss under the mistletoe, and I’m ok with it. That’s not what Christmas is about. Valentine’s yes, but that’s a different point. Christmas isn’t about being in a relationship, it’s about being with family and friends, the birth of Jesus, and being kind to one another. That’s the reason for the season, not to make out with someone under a plant.
  • Society pressures. Sure, you go out with some couples, and it’s clear that you are the only single one. Who cares? Apparently, society does, because you read so much about how sad it is to be single or how important it is for a woman to have a man. First of all, I’ve been doing great without one so far, so yeah I’d like to meet someone, but need is too strong of a word. Second of all, what about being independent? What about focusing on a career and becoming financially stable? Finishing your education? There are lots of other important things in life rather than being in a relationship. Even friends do it to you though. “We need to find you a guy so you can have fun like we do.” I know they mean well, but implying that I can’t have fun without a guy is saying that my life is dark and depressing without one. I can still have fun in my life. Yes, having someone to share my life with would be awesome, but I don’t want to settle on someone just to not be alone.

Overall, it can be tough to be the single friend in your group. It’s harder to meet people because everyone’s already coupled up, or they in turn only know couples. However, it can also be great, because you get to see those that you care about so happy and so in love, and you can only hope that one day, that’ll be you. Plus, you can still go out to the bars and flirt with all the cute guys you see.


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