The Hopeless Romantic Meets Tinder (Spoiler: It Doesn’t End Well)

We all know that one girl who is a hopeless romantic. She wants her love life to be like that of a Hallmark movie (if you haven’t watched one here’s a brief synopsis: boy meets girl, they fall in love, have a fight over something, and he does some romantic thing to win her back or he does sweet romantic things over the course of the movie and she has to show her love with a romantic gesture at the end). Point being, it’s full of romance. It has flowers, and special romantic dates, and long conversations, etc. Well, I am that hopeless romantic. When I fall for someone, I fall hard, and I expect him to be putting as much effort into it as I do, and I also hope that it’s for real and will last. I haven’t exactly had the best track record, but that hasn’t dampened my hope for my fairytale ending.

My coworker and I were discussing online dating and dating apps, and he made the comment that I was “close-minded” (he even made a hand gesture for me being like a closed book) because I said I wasn’t into the dating apps and didn’t want to meet someone online. I decided that he made a fair point, and I couldn’t say how awful I thought something was without having given it a fair shot. So I tried Tinder. I have been signed up for about two months, and I’ve decided it’s time to give it up. Let me preface this with the fact that I am not looking for a hookup and instead am looking for an actual relationship. Now, I know Tinder is generally known for hookups, but I had others suggest I try it out that so and so had found love on it, and it wasn’t so bad.

I installed the app, and got to work. Filled out my profile, uploaded some pictures, and let the swiping begin. Within a few minutes, I had a few matches, and I texted a friend to ask what the proper protocol was with the app. She told me she always waited for guys to message her first, so I went with that. Later that night, I got my first message. Way too many smiley faces, and sending me 5 messages at a time was not the best way to impress me. So I continued swiping and matching, and so on and so forth. I got asked out on a couple of dates, but after some comment or a deeper dive into their profile, I figured out that our ideas of “dates” were completely different and not what I was looking for.

There were however, some interesting messages that I just have to share as part of the wonderful dating app experience.

  1. This guy sent an “automated message” asking me to choose from a list why I was on Tinder. Just to give an idea of what the list included: needs attention, bored, wants to meet people, visiting, etc. Now, I don’t feel the need to justify my actions to people, especially strangers, but I was interested how this would continue, so I answered his question and put other, and then research for a blog. When he then asked me if I had a guy’s profile as well, I stopped responding.
  2. One messaged me, I responded same day, then nothing. For two weeks. Then he responds again, I decided to give him another chance, send a response, and next thing he wants my number. When I didn’t respond the same day, I got another message telling me he “sees how it is.” Talk about a jerk.
  3. So many cheesy pick up lines.
    1. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
    2. I need a band-aid. I fell for you immediately.
    3. I didn’t know they let goddesses on here.
    4. You’re so gorgeous, how are you even on here? (Well clearly my prince charming is a bit lost, so that’s how)

All in all, it wasn’t a terrible experience, but it certainly was not one that I want to deal with again. First of all, awkward small talk, never been my favorite thing. Second of all, it was disappointing how many didn’t want to talk about anything that had substance, and were instead just interested in telling me how pretty they thought I was, and we should go out based on that. I thought the point was to get to know someone, but I guess I was wrong about that. I’m glad I tried it, but I can easily say, I think I’d rather meet someone in person instead. Maybe it was the wrong app, who’s to say, but overall, I’m thinking I’ll stick to real life encounters. Makes things a little less awkward.

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