Take It Slow

Relationships are weird. I mean, think about it. You meet someone who was, at some point, a total stranger and you just decide “hmm I think I want to spend more and more time with that person.” Then, as you do spend more time together and talk more, you realize you have a lot in common, you seem to have this “connection,” not that anyone can ever say what that really is, and you decide to date. Or he/she isn’t interested, so you get your heart stomped on. It just depends on the situation. If you’re lucky, they feel the same way about you. But it’s hard to say, some relationships take weeks and months (even years in some cases!) to develop, while others seem to happen overnight. It makes figuring out timing very difficult.

I can only speak from my personal experience and what I’ve seen with friends, so this is by no means all encompassing, but it’s my opinion. Relationships tend to be better, and last longer, if you take things slow. If you go too fast, they tend to burn out. It’s the concept of starting out as friends. I mean, if you can stand to be friends with someone for a while, they haven’t done anything to drive you off. So there’s something about them that you like. Whereas, if you jump into a relationship first, it can be more difficult to have that friendship, especially if you find some things you don’t like about them, but you’re already dating, so you feel like you should invest more time in something that maybe you shouldn’t be in.

Now, I’ve said before that if you like someone, you shouldn’t play those silly games, and I do stand by that. However, I also don’t think you should rush into something. Sure, part of dating is getting to know someone, I get that, and I think it makes sense. Sometimes you can just tell on a first date if it’s going to work out or not, and if you’re more interested in dating than a relationship, this is a great way to do things. If you’re looking for something a little more, then I suggest taking things a lot slower, and spending more time together first as friends. And sometimes it’s hard to wait, if you’ve liked someone for a while, but you’re still having a hard time reading the situation, it can be difficult, because you want to share your feelings, but no one likes being rejected. Sometimes though, it’s best to let nature take its course, and take things slowly to see what develops from it. If you’re friends, then you at least have the chance to keep your friendship intact. If you rush into things, you may not even have that. And if you really like the person, then you don’t want to lose the friendship.

Sometimes we are forced to take things slow because the timing isn’t right. Maybe you were friends years ago, and you liked this person then, but things change, someone moves or is in another relationship. So you put the feelings on the back burner, and then something changes. They somehow come back into your life again, but maybe the timing still isn’t right. Rather than trying to rush something that may not work due to geographical location or life circumstances, just keep the friendship going. Don’t push for more if you or the other person aren’t really ready for something like that. Instead, be content being friends and learning more about the other person. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. One thing I’ve learned is that if God wants it to happen, it’s going to happen. It may not be on your time calendar, but it’s on His, and He ultimately knows what is best.

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