I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I am an old fashioned person, especially when it comes to dating. With that being said, I am not really a huge fan of modern dating, and there are a few reasons why.
Online Dating and Dating Apps
Maybe I’m a little out there, but I really really really don’t want our love story to begin with “I swiped right, and the rest is history” (I’ll be honest, I have never downloaded Tinder or been on it, so I have no idea which way is good or bad to swipe). I want more than that, a real connection, not just based on a personal statement and do I have a hot picture up there or not. To me, even meeting someone for the first time should be based on something more than that. If a friend sets you up with someone it’s not because they think he is hot, there’s always more to it. Now, some will argue that dating apps like Tinder do allow you to actually get to know someone, but from what I’ve seen and heard, it’s mostly for hooking up, which is not really a great way to a relationship.
Online dating is a little bit better, except it’s again with the same story of “I liked her profile, and the rest is history.” Now, maybe my expectations are a little too high, maybe I still live in a movie, where there will be some serendipitous moment where I meet the one, and maybe that’ll never happen. I can’t say one way or another, but I can still hope for a little more than meeting someone for the first time online. I know, that’s the way of our world now, but I would much rather meet someone in person. I feel like I can read them a little better if they don’t have a screen to hide behind. I’m a big believer in trusting my gut, and it’s difficult to do that if you don’t meet the person in real life until after you’ve been talking for weeks. You’re not able to get a quick idea of their person until after you’ve made a bit of a decision on them from talking for a few days or weeks first. Instead, I’d rather meet them in person immediately, and go from there.
I can’t stand playing games, especially when it comes to dating. For example, the whole playing hard to get, really not my thing. I can’t stand that, and you won’t find me playing that game. If I like you, and you ask me out, then I am going to say yes. It’s that simple, I am not going to play games and act like I’m not interested just to force you to keep asking me out. Now, if I really am not interested, I also am not going to say yes just to spare your feelings. That’s not fair to you, and I certainly don’t want to lead you on. So if I say no, it does mean no. It doesn’t mean keep asking me over and over again, because in reality, that’s just going to get frustrating for the both of us.
The jealousy game. Oh that one I know well, and I hate it. Here’s the deal, I won’t try to make you jealous, and you try not to make me jealous. That doesn’t make me more interested, it just hurts my feelings if you are constantly talking about some other girl to me. Now, if it’s a friend of yours that’s fine, but we all know there is a difference in mentioning someone, and constantly bringing that person up to make us jealous. With that being said, I won’t do that to you. If I meet with an old friend, then I will tell you so I’m being honest, but I’m not going to hound on it or try to make you jealous, I’m just letting you know. I want the same. There’s got to be a level of trust in a relationship, and I truly feel playing games to make the other person jealous hurts that trust and hurts the relationship.
The “three day rule.” Ok, whoever started that had a bad idea. No one should wait three days to call a girl back after a date. Sure, we wonder when you’ll call, but as the time progresses we, at least me, are over-analyzing and deciding that you aren’t that interested, or if you are, you probably have another woman you’re talking to, and you can’t decide. Either option isn’t good for getting a second date, so don’t do it. Just say what you feel. If you like someone, say I had a great time. If you say “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Actually do that. We won’t think you’re clingy or desperate, it just shows that you will actually do what you say. We appreciate that, in fact, everyone appreciates that.
The Lack of Romantic Gestures
So one thing that just about every woman loves is getting flowers. It doesn’t even have to be that, just a cute, simple gesture like a nice note saying “thinking of you” or an unexpected cup of coffee at work. Even something small like that is such a grand gesture in our minds, and it just makes us so happy that you thought of us. It’s romantic and sweet, and it just doesn’t happen as much anymore. Sure, there are some guys that still follow up with the romantic gestures, but the majority don’t, and I don’t know why. It’s not anything that takes a lot of time, effort, or money, like I said before, it can be something as simple as a sweet handwritten note. It’s very old-fashioned, but I would love to have something like that, and it makes me long for an older time when love letters were commonplace.
Basically, while modern dating is fine in some ways, I’m just an old fashioned person who loves the idea of old fashioned dating. Hopefully that is something I will be able to find 🙂