Over this past weekend, I had a realization when it comes to dating and romance. I am in the wrong time period. I mean it. I’m an old soul trapped in a 22 year old body. I need to live in the same time period that Elizabeth Bennet (one of my personal heroes) and Cinderella lived in. Now, yes I understand these are fictional characters, but I’m using them to help you guys realize what time frame I’m talking about. I mean the time when men courted women, not just dated.
Over the years, dating has taken on a whole new meaning, and quite frankly, I want us to revert back to the time when we were courted by men. Lately it seems like dating ultimately just leads to the guy trying to get the girl in bed. And when he fails, that relationship ends; sometimes that ends the minute he succeeds as well. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all relationships are purely physical, I’m just reporting what I’ve found and the luck I’ve had with guys. I’ve tried the dating scene that is modern dating, and I’ve found it just isn’t for me.
I want a first date to be more than going out to a club or meeting at a bar. I don’t want him to try to kiss me after the first date, he should wait a little longer. I also don’t want it to just be physical, I want a relationship on an emotional level. He should know me for me, and I should know him for him. All this physical stuff just gets in the way of actually knowing your partner. Hence, why I am an old soul living in the wrong time period. I want him to be nervous to take my hand, and not get physical quickly while dating. This also ties to my religious beliefs, but it also definitely ties to my love of Elizabeth’s time. Courting was so different. You would meet at a ball, maybe dance a few waltzes, and then talk. You were able to get to know one another without the distraction and pressure of wondering when he was going to make a move or if he was going to try to kiss you. Also, in this time period, men wanted to court to marry these women. Yes, marriage was used as a social ladder, but in my two examples, we see that marriage was also a tool for love. It could be that was just the fantastic imagination of the authors, I’m not sure, but I do know that is where I get my high expectations of romance.
In my last relationship, which I feel was a good learning experience; I sacrificed what I know I’m looking for in a relationship to try this modern dating. It wasn’t something that made me happy in the long run, and I hated that most of our conversations occurred through a text message rather than face to face. However, like I said, it was a good learning experience for me to know what I don’t want in a relationship. I’m looking for that old school love. Now, I may never find it, and if so, I guess that’s ok with me. Because I at least know that I won’t sacrifice my idea of romance for this modern day dating. Simply put, if he wants to treat me like a princess and respect me and my beliefs, then I will treat him like the prince charming he is and do the same. Dating shouldn’t be just about the physical aspects of having someone to make out with and sleep with. It should be about sharing your life with another person who understands and supports you. The other is just a bonus.